Lost and Found

You know when you're looking for something and end up finding something else along the way? Whatever it is, it stops you for a good three seconds - seconds long enough for quick bittersweet (or maybe just bitter) memories to flash you by. And all of a sudden, you forget what you were originally searching for. That thing - that goddamn thing - stares you in the eye and asks: "Why did you stop searching for me?" For a moment, you think of throwing it away. I mean, it can't mean much if it's already been long forgotten.

But you don't. You leave it there for the next time to be found again.

Putting my life back together

"Change is good," people say. 

But that doesn't stop me from hating it. I've never liked change and I don't think I ever will. I remember being 13 years old and sobbing my eyes out when my parents decided that I should switch schools. I just don't think I was born to adapt to change very well because there's nothing I hate more than having to steer off from a old routine. 

But I've been in a rut lately. As you can tell from my previous post, work takes up 80% of my life, and as a result, I have no time for personal endeavours. But since this week was less busy, I had more free time. I thought that since I was getting off work earlier, I'd enjoy it; but I realized I was completely empty. I had no idea what to do with my time. Even fashion, the thing that excites me the most, has left me in a blank mind. I refuse to believe that my life is 100% about work. 

I was tired and exhausted and decided I needed a change.

I decided to think about the most general goal I wanted. I came up with "a cleanse". 

Last year I read a book by Gretchen Rubin called "The Happiness Project". The first thing Gretchen talked about was getting rid of clutter. Clutter not only literally hinders your space but it also affects your mental health. 

There are two things I've decided on: a new body, a new wardrobe.

Now, I know what you're thinking. New body. New wardrobe. Both things are physical. Both things seem quite shallow. Both things seem slightly materialistic. But I disagree.

I've started exercising again and I've seen a difference in my energy levels. I'm more awake at work and I've started to feeling happier. So if I couple that with a clean diet, I think this will definitely go somewhere. And I mean, my firm does have fitness benefits. I might as well put that to good use and buy myself a pair of running shoes.

The next thing is a new wardrobe. My best friend introduced me to this blog right here: www.un-fancy.com. Caroline is a lovely lady who is exercising the 37 piece capsule wardrobe idea. She combines style and minimalism and turns her wardrobe in a money-saving and effortless system. I keep complaining that I have nothing to wear when I have a closet full of sub-par clothing. I'm going to do a closet cleanse and fill it with versatile staples each season. Once I'm done shopping for the coming season, I'm not allowed to buy anymore clothes. I think it's a great idea and I can't wait to start it.

Good luck to all you out there who is trying to get your life back on track! xx

A Cycle

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit. It’s been 7 days. That means I have 14 days more to go.

I’m sitting in the inner seat of the Go Train that’s heading down to Union Station. I find myself quickly drawn to the dusty window right beside me. It’s not bright enough outside to see the scenery clearly but it’s dark enough to see part of my reflection staring back at me. I like this view. I think it’s safe to say that the best part of my day is when I take the 7:45 morning train. It’s when half the world is still asleep; meaning there’s no need to check my social media and feel bad about my boring, mundane life. It’s just me, myself, and the quiet world outside the window.

Exactly 33 minutes have passed and now I’m quickly getting off the train platform and running down flights of stairs. Union station is filled with businessmen (and women) frantically walking to their offices where they will start a fresh new day. I look at my phone. A good 30 minutes before I need to start the work day. Unlike everyone else who is rushing pass me, I take my time to notice the advertisements plastered on the walls in the path as I walk to 18 York street.

What sucks about working on the 25th floor is that you always have to endure the wait of the elevator. People get off on every floor before yours in the morning and people get on the elevator on every floor when you leave. I walk into the office and I already see a few hardworking people at their desks. I grab myself a green tea, settle down, and wait for my senior to appear.

My senior is a very genuine person. Always smiling, always patient with me, always makes the day a bit more exciting. I’m very glad that I get to work with her. After she assigns my task, the day starts. I’m mostly sitting at the desk, staring at spreadsheets, typing in numbers, and occasionally, messaging my fellow friends. Don’t get me wrong, the days aren’t boring. Time passes by pretty quickly. Before I know it, it’s lunch time and I’m on the 3rd floor’s Oasis with a few friends. The period after lunch and before 5 PM isn’t the best. It’s when I start getting sleepy and when my body starts to ache from sitting all day. It’s when I take more washroom and water breaks than usual. And when 5 PM hits, I start calculating how much longer I’ll stay until I get to go home. An exciting part of the day is "Question of the Day". Everyday, an individual raises a random question (i.e. how many wal-marts are there in the world?). Whoever gets the most questions right by the end of the engagement wins a small little prize. So far, I've been stupid and have gotten none right.

My senior often lets me go catch my last train (6:45). Thank god the go train platforms are 30 seconds away from the building’s first floor. I run towards the train and let out a sigh of relief that I made it. The train ride back is relaxing. It’s been a long day. It’s now 7:18 and I see my mother’s car. She asks me how my day was and I answer “It was alright”.

I arrive home and find a hearty meal waiting for me at the kitchen table. My father comes home from work and joins us. By this time, I’m exhausted and I end up sitting on the couch for the rest of the evening. I take out the book I’m reading (currently and has been currently for too long: Quiet, The Power of Introverts) and wait til 11:30 to go to bed. 

Lights out and repeat.

NYE

I'm a week late on this but here's a recap of New Years Eve!

I honestly think I'm getting old because this New Years Eve, I really just wanted to spend the night peacefully. No huge parties. No huge get-togethers. Nothing crazy. Guess that's what happens when you're about to turn 20. As a result of my desire for a peaceful NYE celebration, we decided to book a reservation at Luma, an Oliver & Bonacini Restaurant located at the TIFF Bell Lightbox.

The relaxed and classy ambience of the restaurant was definitely up my alley. It was a nice atmosphere for a two person dinner. They decorated the place with a few balloons and a lovely christmas tree which was definitely a plus.

The drink I ordered (on the right) was called Ginger's Island. It's basically Iced Tea, ginger, lemon, and mint. It was the bomb and I wish I could recreate it myself. 

I forgot to take a picture of my appetizer but it's not like I want to ever see that dish again. Those who know me know that I am a picky eater (such an understatement). I hate 90% of vegetables. You can just say I hate any coloured food. I didn't quite know what Marinated Buffalo Mozzarella was but it sounded pretty good so I ordered it. To my dismay, it was full of veggies I hated: squash, carrots, onions, ginger covered in some wine-tasting sauce. I had to drink 3 cups of water to down that dish but I did it and I finished the entire appetizer. I think I deserve a pat on the back.

For my main meal, I got the Steak Frites. It wasn't super good but it was alright.  

This was the desert: some sort of chocolate bar with ice cream and nuts and bananas. I'm not much of a sweet tooth but it ended the dinner off well.

After dinner, we walked around a bit. I wasn't really feeling a movie so we went to Eaton to sit and chill. I feel that a lot of people think that to have fun, you have to be doing a fun and exciting activity or that you have to be with a large group of people. But to me, sitting down and having a real conversation with another person tops everything because you get to learn things you've never learned about. And that's exactly what we did. 

When it was 11:30 PM, we made our way towards Nathan Phillips Square (full of people + weed) and waited for the countdown and for the beautiful fireworks above. It was a lovely night.

xx

365/365 - Hello 2015

So it's reaching the end of 2014. Boy, does time pass quickly. I feel like the older I get, the faster the time goes by. Growing up is exciting but it's also very mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting. But I got through 2014 and I'm looking forward to another great year.

Things I've Learned from 2014:

• People make promises without the intention of keeping them (but as Spiderman says, those are the best promises, right?)
• You are your own problem and your own solution
• Tumblr is my happy place
• If you don't want to go out, then don't. Don't feel like you are obliged to be social.
• Shopping tip: if you try something on and don't say "I WANT THIS", then don't buy it
• There is no need to force friendships
• Listening is more important than talking 
• Being a student and on a budget sucks
• Everything is temporary 
• It's important to spend time alone
• Spend money on experiences, not material things 
• Expectations most often lead to disappointments. So why not just be indifferent until the outcome?
• Feelings + emotions get the best of us. Therefore, do not take anything seriously when you are super happy or super sad

I'm not really about the "New Years Resolution" Life. But I guess I do have some goals and reminders for 2015.

Reminders for 2015:

• Worry less. Whatever happens will happen so why spend your time worrying about something you can't control?
• Be curious. There is so much out there in the world that is waiting for you to explore. Actively ask questions, and find things you've never seen before.
• Remember to save time for yourself. Find your hobbies and make time for them. (For me, it's reading fashion blogs, writing, and blogging)
• Maintain special friendships. Everyone is busy but there is always time for a lunch or dinner date to catch up.
• Do not let another person control your life. Remember to maintain your individuality and never let anyone close enough to take that away from you. That is just self-destructive.
• Drink a cup of tea every morning. Not only is it good for your health but it's something that will pump you up for the day.
• Always look presentable. You never know who you're going to bump into during the day.
• Try new things. Go take some muay thai lessons, try a new food, watch a musical. Just strive to do something new everyday. It doesn't have to be something big. Taking a new route to work or buying ice cream from another shop can be something fresh.
• Be confident in yourself. We all have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses but we are all striving to become someone different. Embrace those differences and know that you are special enough.

Have a good 2015 everyone!

xx

tuesday lunch and presents

Finals are finally over which means the 2A term has come to an end! This term got quite stressful when I was trying to juggle job searching, getting good grades, and maintaining a decent social life but I mean, I got out alive with a good job, average marks, and a few strong friendships (which is always a good thing)!

I haven't been up to much since I've moved back home. I've been spending time with my family and also giving myself some alone time since I haven't had that in a while. Yesterday, I met up with some high school friends for lunch at Joey Markville and did a little bit of shopping afterwards.

This was my first time at Joey and I loved it! The ambience was great - I felt classy yet very comfortable. It's a bit on the pricey side but I mean, it's pretty average for a similar-style restaurant/lounge.

I got the Ravioli with Sautéed Prawns. It was delicious! I'm not sure what the sauce was but it was on point (3 points for that)! I'm a pasta lover and this ravioli was definitely A+ in my books! And the crispy prosciutto was like the cherry on top. My friend got the lobster grilled cheese as you can see in the first picture and it looked soooooo good. I'm definitely getting that next time I go! Overall, I really like this restaurant. 

After lunch, we did a little bit of shopping. I got two necklaces and a new foundation. And then Roy surprised me with this baby right here! I've been wanting this Clarisonic Mia 2 for some time now, I just never had the heart to splurge on it because it's so damn expensive for a cleansing machine. I even decided a few days ago that I'd give this Clarisonic up because I wanted to spend all my money on new work clothes for my first co-op term.  But now I have it and in my favourite colour! So excited to use it.

I'm going to New York tomorrow for three days to go outlet mall shopping. Hopefully, I'll be able to buy all my work clothes there for cheap. Merry Christmas Eve everyone!

xx

Love is the one thing that transcends time and space

So yesterday, I went to see Interstellar. I heard it was beyond amazing - beyond what anyone could expect a movie to be. And I was definitely not disappointed.

The movie was actually indescribable. I'm still so mind blown about everything in that movie right now. I feel like I'm having a movie withdrawal because I keep thinking about Matthew Mcconaughey and his character and I just... omg. I just want to see the movie again. The movie really made me think about how insignificant I am in this world. And how there are so many unexplained phenomena out there in the universe, the galaxy, and other galaxies other than ours. The fourth dimension of time, the fifth dimension of gravity? We are always living and are thinking about our three dimensional world that we never really understand and grasp the idea that there are other dimensions out there. And this movie just made me realize that this universe or this "whatever we are existing" in is so much bigger than we think. 

Not only was the movie mind-blowing in many many ways, it did touch my heart. Matthew Mcconaughey is an incredible actor. And I know that because I cried at least 4 times in this movie. His facial expressions and everything he did was so greatly portrayed, his love for his daughter and his dedication to return back on Earth really touched me and I definitely became attached to his character.

I don't want to spoil anything for people who haven't watched it, but I must say it is one of the greatest movies out there. I'll probably watch it again because it was that good and also I want to get a better understanding of what happened (because I still have to google the explanation of the entire movie). 10/10 would recommend.

One of my favourite quotes from the movie is "Love is the one thing that transcends from time and space" and I think it's quite important and it's one thing that helped Cooper throughout the entire movie.